Chapters on Wheelz

Explain what your disability is?

I have Asperger’s Syndrome (a type of Autism), which is thought of as a learning difficulty or learning disability; it basically means my brain works differently to the brains of neurotypical people. Some people think someone having Asperger’s is a bad thing as we find some things (such as socialising and eye contact) difficult but I think we’re just different, as we often find some things easier than other people (such as maths and remembering things).

what are some of the issues you face?

I find it hard to understand people and they have trouble understanding me; I take things literally and so often misinterpret how most people don’t mean what they say to be taken literally and use phrases like ‘don’t bang your head against the wall’.

Not being able to make eye contact has sometimes led to people thinking I’m not paying attention when they’re talking to me and means I’m less likely to be successful in a lot of social and physical situations, such as job interviews.

I’ve often found it difficult to show an interest in conversations about things I’m not interested in and can talk about a subject I’m interested in a lot and not realise people don’t necessarily want to hear lots of information about my areas of interest. I can also talk about things in more detail than people want me to and find I’m unclear what people mean when they tell me things as I often find there are several possibilities as to what someone has meant when they something when most neurotypical people seem to have an intuition that tells them which of these possibilities people mean.

My issues with social skills can make it more difficult for me to make friends, get girlfriends and network with people face to face and I often don’t pick up non-verbal signs that are supposed to indicate things, such as if a girl fancies me and I can have trouble conveying things clearly in a socially acceptable way.

My eyes are very sensitive to light and although I can often tolerate bright light that’s hurting my eyes, I’ve sometimes had to leave places that display flashing lights and miss out on opportunities to socialise or experience parts of entertainment events.

I notice sound a lot and often can’t tolerate loud noises or subtle noises, like the overspill from people listening to music on earphones; meaning public transport journeys can be very stressful and I sometimes have to avoid noisy social situations, like going for a drink at a pub.

How do you overcome them

As I’ve grown up I’ve learned to adapt my social skills to fit in with the ways most people talk, so I’m confused by people less often and they find it easier to understand what I say.

When I need to discuss things with people, I often use written conversation such as text or instant messaging as I find it easier knowing that I can type all I need to say without worrying about people responding or interrupting me before I’ve finished and using instant messenger help me to learn the basic structure most conversations follow.

My Dad told me that if you look at the gap between people’s eyes, they think you’re looking them in the eye and this technique means people are happier with their social interactions with me.

Although I’ve found it hard to approach potential friends and girlfriends, my thoughtfulness means that people tend to see me as a nice person and my difficulties obtaining relationships means I find it important to stay in touch with friends and work to make my relationships last.

I’ve learned from developing an interest in disability and Asperger’s that a great deal of people who have Asperger’s haven’t been able to get jobs and this makes me worry less about issues I’ve had with finding the amount of work that mainstream society (which has been designed with neurotypical people in mind) says people should do.

I try to take my sunglasses with me wherever I go so that my eyes aren’t hurt by sunlight when I’m outside and I can wear them if a place I’m socialising in displays particularly bright or flashing lights.

I take my iPod with me when I use public transport to cover up noises that annoy me and this makes my journeys a lot less stressful. If I’ve been really wound up by noise at home, going into a room by myself and listening to music I like can calm me down.

When I think about the problems I face and how life would seemingly be much easier if I was neurotypical, I remember that although I may well have had more social experiences and be wouldn’t have the same negative experiences, I would also be someone completely different without my Autistic brain and so it would be like someone else would be experiencing things in the way I sometimes want to and this makes me decide I wouldn’t change who I am, even if I could.